Yielding, as water
A prayer: may I hear the original tones
I tip the cool, blue cup holding wild, mountain spring water
to my lips
In this moment of felt-presence, my body responds as a yielding. The cascade of subtle nuanced relief, sigh-shimmers through my cells. Because I have brought more awareness to this Now in which I am embodied. In which I am choosing to open in feeling. In sensation that allows for fluidity.
This is home — this tone. Not this one tone only…this harmonic family. Like my hand pressing against the soft clay of my heart center. An in, and in, and in unending. An original tone, one I came in with, nestled like a new furling of fern not yet emerging.
Can you recall, feel into remembrance, any of your original tones?
Sometimes naming is a blessing, not a limitation. Sometimes a name is a container for that which reminds us we can fly. That we are always free.
Touching the ground of my beingness is a tone that feels like softly pressing into the earth of my body. My body yielding, once again, in opening. This body is a threshold. A passage for that which loves.
I feel so good about the Yes within all things. The yes that spins galaxies and the light-codes in my DNA. I feel-think we are each this yes. In our own ways. Life saying yes to itself.
Maybe there is only this yes and our ability to open, open, open to receive, receive, receive.
When I teach self-applied kinesiology, first I like to share the inner awareness: the discovery of what our body does when the essence of yes permeates our focus, feeling, and physiology. And what our body does when that essence is restricted and reversed into no. No, no, no. Closure, tightening, constriction, separation, get me away from.
A no is so different from this original tone I know is mine. This opening into the supplicating touch of the world upon me. Yes, yes, yes…
May I become the wellspring. The Osprey flies across my vision, cleaving water and sky, feeling and mind. Self-correction, a gentle adjustment, I remember / I am remembering, that I already am. That we already are.
The secret smile within all flowers is this very knowing, the essence of all we seek is allowed, no, encouraged, no, adoringly summoned and welcomed — through — the soft aperture of yielding. Yielding to the knowing that deeper than anything, deeper than any coarse intention borne of separation-mind, is who we are as love. As pure caring. As fields who want nothing more than communion. As fields who know that communion is everything. That the currency of paying attention is limitlessly abundant, re-sourcing the energy of origin now.
This sip of cool wild water reminds me of these things. Not through an intellectual telling…but through the sharing of a tone I, by some grace, softened into enough
to hear.
🜄
Tones...vibrations...feelings...it is interesting trying to put language to this. There is, in my experience, a unique feeling that connects with certain places, memories, music. A feeling that I cannot possibly describe in any language, that simply is. I might also call these tones - together they form a sort of resonance that is integral to my perception of myself. Perhaps behind and within all of that there is a tone that is simply mine, simply me. If so, I am not sure I can yet perceive it, identify it, recognize it from within.
"Sometimes naming is a blessing, not a limitation."
I find myself being grateful to my father, who viewed my naming as a project in discerning resonance, who did not feel bound by conventions. His notes of naming possibilities are fun to revisit.
I feel it is also my lesson in this time to learn to discern *yes* and *no* within myself. (https://dendroica.substack.com/p/interlude-on-discernment-and-will) Sometimes my mind will get carried away, creating a "yes" from perceived synchronicity or desire when there is not real alignment. And sometimes my mind will get in the way, adding confusion to a "yes" if it doesn't match my *ideas* of what would be resonant or what I most want. And then sometimes, I feel, there is simply not an answer, not a sense of surrendering or yielding into yes or no. And in these cases, the most clarity I feel within myself is that *there is no right answer*, that I need to exercise my own will, my own spontaneous spark to make a choice, to weave my own tone into the pattern as conscious creator.
In this particular time I find my sense of what is resonant shifting. I am overdue to head south, to a music festival in Ashland I signed up for months ago. And yet I find that I have been opting out of parties and gatherings, nesting in my new home, finding a sort of quiet resonance in long walks and one-on-one visits. I will still be going - it doesn't feel like a "no" per se - but I think I am letting go of a former self that needed to get there on time, keep to a schedule, not miss anything, and simply flowing with the water within me.
First I read with my mind...I didn't get it.
Then I took a deep breathe, reading with my soul listening to the movements and yes's inside my body.
My body smiled.